oh the beautiful people.
not really sure when this rollercoasters over, or if it just loops around and around forever. almost been two months since graduation and ive yet to figure anything out... i look at jobs and look at jobs, then stop looking at jobs. i have a job, not one i hate enough yet, but its a job, it pays, not enough but indeed it does pay. its weird, tonight i was riding around my neighborhood just to look around, and i realized that this the first place ive actually felt i belonged. my LA burrito on the corner, my bodega with 1.50 vitamin water, the L and M close by, my quiet little street, with cute trees.. i love bushwick. its understated underdeveloped overpopulated artsy haven... and then my mind like a flipped coin lands somewhere completely different, then i start thinking far away, back to europe, because that time almost a year ago is quickly approaching and i know my heart will start to long for it.. once the time comes. i dream of selling everything and abandoning this all my quiet street, the mta, my bodega, it all for something new and exciting, before this can even get old and normal. i curse the day when i bite the bullet and get that JOB i really want because then this rollercoaster i call life will pick a route and ride that out, and i will become restless yet again for another rocky ride. so until then i will take these ups and downs and hope to keep the balance somewhere between.
xx
